Month: May 2017

We have just come back from our first holiday as a new family of four.  I had no idea what to expect, only that it would be unlike any holiday we’ve ever experienced before. I’ve decided the best way of relaying how it went would be to post a select sample of highlights and lowlights.

Lowlight: The journey.
As documented in previous blogpost it took 9 hours to get there and involved generous helpings of noise and sick.

Highlight: The location.
We stayed in an idyllic cluster of self-catering cottages in a rural farmyard setting in Cornwall. From pony rides, to feeding the farm animals, to swimming in the heated indoor pool or exploring the play barn there was so much to keep a 9-month-old, a two-year-old and their parents entertained onsite that we had a tough job deciding whether to stay put or discover the amazing beaches and activities in the surrounding area.

Lowlight: Telling TinyToes there would be elephants, tigers and giraffes at Newquay Zoo.
The zebras, tapirs and agoutis didn’t quite cut it. Ok so there were some lions, but TinyToes spent most of the morning repeating “where’s the effefant? Mummy, where’s the effefant?” My explanations didn’t wash and the questions continued…

Highlight: Going for a run in the Cornish countryside..
… while DaddyO rested and the tinies napped one afternoon and then doing 60 lengths of the heated swimming pool (only 15m a length I hasten to add), which I had all to myself. One giant bathtub all for me. No kids, no noise, just me in the water. My first proper swim since before I gave birth. I emerged from the water feeling resplendent and revitalised; a shiny, new person.

Lowlight: Going swimming all four of us…
…when we had the cunning foresight to put the little ones in their swimming nappies and costumes before arriving at the pool, but only realised at the end of their swim that we had forgotten to pack new nappies for them to change into. In a Catch 22 situation, we couldn’t exactly leave both cold and wet with one parent while the other went to get the nappies. I quickly volunteered to take 2-year-old TinyToes, figuring there would be a lower probability of any spillages. Amazingly, 9-month-old MicroToes, snugly harnessed to DaddyO in the baby carrier, managed to stay dry too.

Highlight: The pony ride.
Although she was a bit scared of the chickens and frightened of the ducks, TinyToes was thrilled with her first ride on a pony, which she still talks about now. She got given a badge in recognition, which she insists on keeping in her pocket.

Lowlight: A nearby village going by the name of Sticker.
Every time we so much as muttered any reference to the godforsaken place, a little voice would start up “Sticker mummy! I want a sticker! Mummy – I want a sticker! Daddy – a Sticker!” and continue for the next 30 minutes or so…

Highlight: Visiting Lappa Valley steam railway…
…and riding on the miniature-sized trains. I’m not sure who had most fun.

Lowlight: An attempted ‘romantic dinner out’ all four of us in Mevagissey.
What were we thinking?! Neither child wanted to stay still and both took up our constant attention. We barely had time to say ‘cheers’ with our drinks and were left with the vague impression the food would have been amazing if we’d actually had five seconds to appreciate what was in our mouths.

Highlight: Bird watching in the cottage garden one sunny afternoon with TinyToes.
We had been out to the beach that morning and she and I sat on a rug armed with the bird book from our cottage. The family owners had given us a bird feeder to hang on a tree and we watched the great tits and robins and blue tits flying back and forth, pointing to them in the book and ticking them off on the bird watching sheet we had also been given.

Lowlight: There only being two changing tables…
…and a whole load of babies in the entire M5 service station in Exeter. One was in the ladies’ toilets and the other was in a room of its own. None in the men’s toilets…

Highlight: The family owners – aka Farmer Dave and Nanny Pat and their son Paul.
They were so welcoming and great with children. When we went to say goodbye, they gave us our very own bird feeder to hang in the garden. It’s highly likely we’ll be returning next year.  And no this is not a commercial blog…

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This blog entry was intended to be a brief collection of highlights and lowlights from our recent first holiday as a new family of four.  After the first ‘lowlight’ went on for more than 600 words I decided to grant it an entry all of its own. Contrary to the shaky start, we actually went on to have a fantastic holiday, which you can read more about in my next instalment.

Duped by Google’s five-hour journey time estimate, we were dismayed to discover that a medley of roadworks, accidents and traffic jams meant it actually took us closer to nine hours to drive from the South East to the South West of the country. Our journey was punctuated with two-year old Tinytoes throwing toys onto Microtoes and then screaming to have them back again. If we refused, her screams would intensify. If we arched backwards over the front seats Houdini-style to prise the toys out of the iron grip of her nine-month old sister, Microtoes would then wail in protest. Unfortunately for poor Microtoes we generally opted for returning the toys to her older sister, because if we didn’t, Tinytoes’ cries tender to be louder, went on for longer and were more distracting to the driver.

The ultimate lowlight came just as I was congratulating myself for finally managing to get Tinytoes to eat a whole load of fruit. A whiney voice piped up “Get down. Get down please.” We told her we knew it was a long journey but we were now only 30 minutes away so she had to stay put. Suddenly something caught DaddyO’s attention in the rear-view mirror. We could only look on in horror as Tinytoes proceeded to slowly regurgitate everything she had eaten thus far that day. It went everywhere.

We stopped the car as soon as we could – in a layby by a row of houses – where we placed our pallid two-year old on the grassy verge and stripped her down to her nappy. Amidst the commotion, Microtoes awoke from her brief nap and began wailing for food. I went to take her in my arms, handing DaddyO some spare clothes (for Tinytoes, though he could have done with some for himself) who was trying to clean up Tinytoes with baby wipes. It was when he shoved her in my lap, with strands of sick still in her hair, in order to get the bigger lumps out of the car seat that I began to wonder: how on earth would I have coped if I had been on my own?! Bearing in mind my lap also contained Microtoes, whom I’d been trying to feed but was now being literally kicked off and was teetering headfirst towards the foot-well of the driver’s seat. We could barely manage with two adults…

At that moment, a kind Cornish lady appeared from one of the houses, bin liner in hand, for us to dispose of the larger remains of sick that DaddyO was decanting into plastic nappy bags and empty Costa coffee cups. She offered both DaddyO and I to use her bathroom and to wash our hands. She was the woman I had seen silently arrive in her car minutes earlier and I had muttered under my breath because she had not asked if we were ok or even so much as given a sympathy smile in our direction. She had, in fact, gone above and beyond normal kindness levels and served as a timely reminder never to judge people or situations.

When we finally arrived at our destination, dusk had fallen and we were too tired to appreciate the beauty of the farmyard complex we were staying it.  The reception had long closed and a key was left in our cottage door.

The knock at the door came at the worst possible time. DaddyO was getting the rest of the sick off Tinytoes in the bath and I was breastfeeding Microtoes. The owner of the cottages looked a bit taken aback by our brusque reception. Unable to leave our sleepy, sick-encrusted two-year-old alone in the bath for more than a few seconds, I heard DaddyO gruffly saying ‘yes, ok, yes ok, thank you very much goodbye.’ I leapt up off the bed, Microtoes still clamped onto me, shouting out ‘…and the washing machines? Is it ok to use the washing machines later tonight?’

She nodded, quickly indicating where they were as she closed the door. I had wanted to apologise for our demeanour and to say how beautiful her cottage looked. That would have to wait until the next morning. First things first, we needed to wash the car seat cover, soft toys and clothes that were in the back of the car. Not the best of starts, but at least we had arrived.  I was just glad I had had the foresight to pack two bottles of lager in the cool bag.

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